The Truth about Beauty; the Standards are Evolving

    The standard for what is considered "beautiful" have evolved over the years (and by "beautiful", I don't necessarily mean our appearance). But with this gradual evolution of what is accepted and what isn't, there has been an increase in hypocritical thinking. Like what? The following image really outlines my point:

     See what I mean? The world can be harsh but to put it plainly, this is ridiculous. Even though this problem isn't necessarily gender specific, women in particular seem to struggle the most. I'm trying to make a point that women today (and I'm especially thinking of the young teen girls out there) are still being manipulated by what society deems 'acceptable'. 

    Say I'm in school, and it's hot outside, I'm in a tank top and I'm told to cover up because what I'm wearing is 'distracting' to other (oftentimes male) students [to read an actual story like this, click here]. What am I really being told here? That I should be ashamed because of what I am wearing? Or that my looks and/or body is viewed as a problem to others? If I'm removed from the classroom or the school, does that mean I am less important than everyone else? This type of mentality can be damaging, especially to a young girl or lady already fighting her own self-esteem problems. Because, frankly, we have too much pressure already without having to worry if our shoulders are being a "distraction".

    I find the evolution of these standards really interesting. It amazes me how much things have changed; that we can go out to the beach in bikinis when it was once unacceptable, or walk around with cut-off jean, and crop-tops when it once wasn't right to show our ankles. Yet, even though society's standards have come far, we're still being told what is and isn't acceptable. Why is this? 

    The point is, no one (regardless of gender) should be told what they can and cannot wear. Likewise, these 'standards' should continue to evolve in a way that will better society. First impressions should be based on inward qualities, instead of outward appearance. After all, our looks are not what God is assessing when it comes to our Salvation or our livelihoods. It says so in 1 Samuel:

"But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." ~ 1 Samuel 16:7 NIV  

    Over the last month, we've examining these standards and what society deems as 'appropriate'. This is a subject I'll probably return to time and again, because as long as these beauty standards are in place, there will be people who do not fit into the predetermined categories. There will be those who are outcast for their appearance, because they are not cast from the same mold everyone has deemed 'worthy'. This breaks my heart. 

    Never let anyone tell you what you should look like, or who you should be. Never let them make you feel less than your true value. Never let them pigeonhole you into a category or try to confine you in a box of predetermined ideas. We are meant to be unique and different! It's okay to have flaws and imperfections. Remember:

Want to read the previous posts from this series? 

Here is the whole list:

1. Introducing the Truth about Beauty
2. The Truth about Beauty; the Media is Damaging Us
3. The Truth about Beauty; Loving Yourself
4. The Truth about Beauty; Bullying
5. The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of “Pretty”
6. The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of “Handsome”
7. The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of "Beauty"

The Truth about Beauty; Photo Shopping

    We all do it. We wake a photo for social media, and then pick a filter and edit it before posting. Even though we tend to do this to our own photos, how often do we remember it can be done to the models in ads we see? As technology has advanced, the use of Photoshop on magazine images has increased in popularity among editors. Nowadays, the flawless faces on the covers of Vogue and Vanity Fair are not true representations of the models themselves. 

    Now, it's amazing what makeup and Photoshop can do. But as you can see in the following video, it could possibly be subconsciously hurting our self-esteem... 

    How much is too much? How often do we look at these magazine covers with headlines such as: "how to achieve your dream body", and want to emulate them? When, in reality, those models do not even look like their photographed selves! When we're snapping selfies for our profile pic on Facebook, and we use those $5 apps or free filters, what are we trying to achieve? As you can see in the following video, there is no substitute for being original...

    We are not flawed. The pimples, grey hair, the cellulite, are not things to be hidden or embarrassed about. I purpose that we should use unedited images of women in magazines, and we should showcase our individuality with untouched confidence. After all, we should be proud of the things that make us unique; they should not be edited away. I found the following video by American fashion model, Cameron Russell, very inspirational as she discusses her thoughts on this subject.

    So before I sum up this post I just want to say, for all the young teenage girls out there, you don't have to be afraid to go out in public without makeup, or to hide your real self in photographs. You are beautifully, fearfully, and wonderfully made! It even says in 1 Peter that it's your gentle qualities and that of your inner self which makes you the most beautiful, not your appearance. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise.

Want to read the previous posts from this series? 

Here is the list:

1. Introducing the Truth about Beauty
2. The Truth about Beauty; the Media is Damaging Us
3. The Truth about Beauty; Loving Yourself
4. The Truth about Beauty; Bullying
5. The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of “Pretty”
6. The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of “Handsome”
7. The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of "Beauty"
8. The Truth about Beauty; the Standards are Evolving

The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of “Handsome”

    We have looked at what it means to be "pretty" and what it takes to be a "beauty", but what about "handsome"? Because societal standards for our appearance is neither gender specific, nor is it exclusively the struggle of women. So this post is dedicated to all the guys who struggle with their body image, too.

    According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the word "handsome" can be defined as being skilled or clever, gracious, generous, and for being pleasing or dignified. Now, when we think of someone being handsome, do we usually envision a dapper young man in a tux? How about someone tall and dark? A distinguished, older gentleman? The term "handsome" is not common in today's compliment vocabulary; hot and sexy are usually used instead. But what does it take to be truly handsome?

Young men, just like young women, can be ridiculed if they are not muscular enough or if they don't look like Calvin Klein models. 

     Boys grow up playing with action figures like G.I. Joe, and they watch movies like Superman and Batman. They are surrounded by all these characters subconsciously telling them they have to be “tall, dark, and muscular” to be considered 'manly'. Similar to women, this can lead to conditions like social anxiety, eating disorders, even muscle dysmorphia or steroid abuse. All because of the preconceived notion that this is how they should look. 

    Earlier this month, the Huffingtonpost published an article on this subject [click here to read it], which highlights the struggles men can have concerning their body type and muscle dysmorphia. Interviewing 19 men with varying differences in body types, they discussed why men can tend to feel uncomfortable discussing their insecurities.

"Spoiler alert: Men have body insecurities, too, and that's nothing to be ashamed of." ~ HuffingtonPost

   
   Likewise, in April last year, Bustle.com published an article which focused on the fact men (just like women) can struggle with their weight and how they perceive themselves [click here to read it]. I found it very interesting to read, as it gave insight to a man's perspective on the struggles of weight gain and having a negative inner monologue.

"I've found myself hesitant even to consider, in my own mind, that disliking my body was worth sharing with anyone." ~ Bustle.com 

    Society tends to put the body image problems of women center stage, while men who struggle can be found standing on the wings. It has become almost shameful for them to talk about or discuss these problems publicly. I think this is sad, considering from a female perspective, I can relate and understand.

    If we demand equality for women, then we should also provide the same for men when it comes to social acceptance and theses preconceived standards. Young men should be accepted, and supported, despite their body type. The old, stereotypical ways of thinking needs to be discarded, and new ones need to be molded. 'Handsome' should become the new go-to look, encompassing each individual body type. So if you are a young man struggling with your own self-esteem or body image issues, please know that you are not alone, and it is not shameful to talk about.   

Want to read the previous posts from this series? 

Here is the list:

1. Introducing the Truth about Beauty
2. The Truth about Beauty; the Media is Damaging Us
3. The Truth about Beauty; Loving Yourself
4. The Truth about Beauty; Bullying
5. The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of “Pretty”

The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of "Beauty"

    Previously, we've covered the definition of the word "pretty", so today we are going to look at the definition of the word "beauty". According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the word "beauty" refers to the quality of a person that is pleasurable, or particularly graceful, or of excellent quality.

    However, this definition for what is considered beautiful has evolved over the years, and women in particular have struggled the most to fit into that definition. Magazines and social media have instilled in us the preconceived idea that our weight has to be under control and our makeup has to be on point to be acceptable; that flawless and perfect are what is considered beautiful. But we need to stop allowing society to set the standard for what "beauty" should be.

     We can tend to hate our bodies, and sometimes punish ourselves, for not looking right. This can lead to disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, and self-harm (not to say it is the main cause of these struggles, but it can be one of them). We are hurting ourselves for not being able to fit that preconceived definition. But why, why should we accept these predetermined standards? Why don’t we set our own?

    I wanted to share the video below, because I think this girl, Madeline Stuart, is absolutely amazing! She is making the media reconsider what they originally thought about Downs Syndrome (for more information on Downs, click here). As a trend-setter, she is redefining beauty and the conventional way we think towards our outward appearance; and I think that is wonderful.

     "Beauty" doesn't need to be defined by society; we can stand up and define it ourselves. These preconceived standards are a hindrance; thinking that our looks, our clothes, and our appearance in general determines whether or not we're beautiful. It is up to us as individuals to rewrite the definition! Because our thighs, our hair, our eyes, our personalities, everything that makes us unique, fits together like a puzzle, so we can say: "I'm my own definition of BEAUTY."

So what do you think?

How are you defining the word "beauty",

and do you think you fit your own definition?

Want to read the previous posts from this series? 

Here is the list:

1. Introducing the Truth about Beauty
2. The Truth about Beauty; the Media is Damaging Us
3. The Truth about Beauty; Loving Yourself
4. The Truth about Beauty; Bullying
5. The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of “Pretty”
6. The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of “Handsome”

The Truth about Beauty; Body Image

    Everyone, from adults to teens alike, can struggle with body image. It is not something to be embarrassed about and it is not an isolated thing; if you're struggling with body image problems, you are not alone.

    I've struggled with my own body image problems for many years now. After my accident, I was in a wheelchair for a time, and because of my blood sugar, my weight fluctuated a lot. Shopping for clothes was always frustrating, and I hated seeing myself in full-length mirrors.

    "I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." it took me a really long time to believe that verse! No matter how often I read it, I couldn't believe it applied to me. I had spent all those adolescent years thinking that I wasn't any good, and being down on myself for not looking like the person I thought I was supposed to be. I know that I'm beautiful in God's sight, but I struggled to come to terms with myself and the way my body was.

    It was only a year or so ago when I realized that the person I am now, from head to toe, the way I look and act, everything that makes me ME, God made on purpose. Only then did I start believing I was "fearfully and wonderfully made", and I started accepting myself the way I am. Sometimes, I still have those same negative thoughts, like when I step on the scale, or look in a mirror on a bad day. But God never lets them stick around for long. Learning to love myself has been a hard, but gratifying, lesson.

    The following video by model and motivational speaker, Ashley Graham, is both remarkable and inspiring. I really enjoyed her lecture because she touched on a lot of important points I myself had to come to terms with, and her opening is especially important...

    And this next video I also found to be really inspirational and uplifting as it shines a light on what I've been talking about. It can be surprising to find that some of the most confident, fit, and attractive people could still have their own body image struggles...

    Thankfully, this is something that can be overcome, (maybe not all at once, but little by little). With prayer, the Lord can help you to a place of healing and acceptance. From my personal experience, I can tell you that this is a wonderful place, and I pray this article blessed you in some way. I'm going to post some helpful resources and scriptures below for anyone struggling with their body image and loving themselves.

Resources:

• Raising Daughters in a World that Devalues Them: 7 Things We Must Tell Them
• Free to be Imperfect
• 7 Simple Steps to Love Yourself Unconditionally, Be Happier and More Peaceful!
• Seven Reasons We Don’t Take Care of Ourselves

Scriptures:

• Proverbs 19:8
• 1 John 3:1
• Ephesians 5:29
• John 13:34-35
• 1 Peter 4:8
• Song of Solomon 4:7

Want to read the previous posts from this series? 

Here is the list:

1. Introducing the Truth about Beauty
2. The Truth about Beauty; the Media is Damaging Us
3. The Truth about Beauty; Loving Yourself
4. The Truth about Beauty; Bullying
5. The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of “Pretty”