The Truth about Beauty; the Definition of "Pretty"

     DISCLAIMER: if you find yourself ever questioning whether you're pretty or not, if you spend time in front of a mirror criticizing yourself, analyzing or wondering what happened. If you're unhappy with how you look then, girls, this post today is for you....

    According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the word "pretty" refers to something, or someone, who looks attractive (in a delicate way), who is pleasant to look at or listen to, or is impressive. These are the attributes we sometimes associate with when someone says we are "pretty". Synonyms include: blessed, darling, delightful, dreamy, good, heavenly, and pleasant.

    But why does "pretty" apply only to our looks or our physical aesthetics? Girls, we are pretty for so many more things than just our eyes, hair, and bodies. We can be pretty for our talents (i.e dancers and performers), and for our voices (i.e singers and musicians), and for our minds (i.e students, teachers, philosophers, doctors ect.) The list truly is endless!


    If we let ourselves believe that "pretty" only defines our physical appearance, then we're going to believe that we have to look a certain way in order to be "pretty", when that is not the case at all! A confident, Godly, or talented woman is pretty in her own right.

    Girls, would you say that you're "pretty"? Or do you believe that "pretty" only defines your looks, and that your qualities don't fit into that definition? I'm here today to tell you that is not true, that being "pretty" is more than looks, it's more than makeup and fashion trends, it's more than all the superficial things this world values. Your abilities, your heart, your passion, your drive, your creativity, that is what is truly "pretty".

Want to read the previous posts from this series? 
Here is the list:

1. Introducing the Truth about Beauty
2. The Truth about Beauty; the Media is Damaging Us
3. The Truth about Beauty; Loving Yourself
4. The Truth about Beauty; Bullying

The Truth about Beauty; Bullying

     One of the many results of societal pressure concerning beauty standards is bullying. Although our acceptance in society shouldn't be based on our looks, our physical appearance still seems to hold a form of value. The first thing we notice about someone oftentimes is how they look, how they're dressed, or unique features that stand out about them. But bullying someone (or being someone who is bullied) because of his or her appearance is unbearable. We can tend to judge a person on how they look or dress, and it can lead to bullying behavior. It says here that children who are seen as different, overweight, underweight, or who wear different clothes, are more likely to be bullied.

    And it's not just people bullying other people, but also people can bully themselves. If we're standing in front of a mirror listing everything we think is wrong with our bodies, that is a form of bullying! Judging someone based on how they look is a narrow mindset, and judging ourselves the same way is damaging. Our looks shouldn't predetermine our acceptance! Furthermore, what others say and think about us does not determine who we are, and certainly not what we are worth.

    Bullying is a problem that effects both genders, all age groups, and every social class there is in this world. It comes in varying degrees, and stems from many different reasons besides beauty standards and body image. It is a world-wide problem that needs to be resolved, but I'll continue that train of thought in another series.

    If you or someone you know and love are being bullied for whatever reason, don't be afraid to reach out for help and speak up about what is going on. It's not wrong, cowardly, or shameful; you do not deserve to be hurt. I'm going to post some helpful links and resources for you below and I pray this helps.

Websites, Helplines, and Articles:

• www.stopbullying.gov
• www.thehotline.org
• www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
• www.bullyingstatistics.org
• The Secret to Defeating Fear 
• From Fear to Forgiveness
• www.joycemeyer.org

Books:

• Never Give Up!: Relentless Determination to Overcome Life's Challenges
• Beauty for Ashes: Receiving Emotional Healing

Want to read the previous posts from this series? 

Here is the list:

1. Introducing the Truth about Beauty
2. The Truth about Beauty; the Media is Damaging Us
3. The Truth about Beauty; Loving Yourself

The Truth about Beauty; Loving Yourself

     In society today, it is typically frowned upon to say: “I love myself” for it can be seen as presumptuous and self-centered. But, we have every reason to love ourselves because we are loved by the One who created everything! What do I mean? Here, let me explain:

You are created in God's image!

     You are created in the image of God, Creator of the Universe, the Alpha and Omega! Can you imagine? You bear His shape and resemblance. So those eyes you think are the wrong color? He gave those to you. Your hair that isn’t long enough? He made that, too. All of what you see in the mirror is a gift from Him. So how do you think it makes Him feel when we think negatively about our bodies? What you believe to be your flaws and mistakes, He actually gave to you on purpose! Everything, from your freckles to your waistline, He gave to you for a reason. God does not make ‘mistakes’, therefore, since He made you, you are not in any way a mistake! Nor are you ‘flawed’. So the next time you catch sight of your reflection, think: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalms 139:14) because you are.

He loves you!

     You are loved by the Creator of the world! What is more, you cannot possibly perceive how wide and deep His love is for you; it is impossible. On top of this, you cannot be separated from the love He has for you! So no matter what you may have done in your life, or how impossible you think it is for someone to love you, the King above all Kings, the Holiest of Hollies, loves YOU. So, with that being said, why not love yourself, too?  

And He loved you before you even existed!

     So not only were you made in His image, and He loves you now, but He loved you even before you were conceived on this Earth! His love transcends time, encompassing before you were born into existence. Not only did He love you then, and now, but He loves you in the future, so much so, that He appointed you: “prophet to the nations”. He has selected your destiny and how your life will go. He knows how it will turn out, from your birth to your death, and everything in between. He planned your blessings, trials, and revelations. He knew before you were born whether you would pass that exam, or marry your significant other, or get that raise at work. He knows it all. So you do not have to worry in the slightest about what will happen to you, because the One who loves you, has it already taken care of. 

There is an amazing plan for your life!

    He pre-planned your life; He designed good things that are meant to prosper you and to give you hope. So when you feel useless, or hopeless, or if you are unsure about your future, remember that the Lord already has it planned out for you. He designated a life for you and you alone, and (even if it doesn't seem to be right now) it is a prosperous and wonderful one. All because He loves you, and He chose you, and He is up there right now waiting for you to love yourself back.

You are blessed!

     He wants to bless you, He wants to give you the desires of your heart and make you successful. Just as He said in Jeremiah 29:11, He has a good plan for your life, and He wants to bless it. But sometimes our actions, our sins, our doubts, fears, and insecurities can stand in His way of blessing us. When this happens, we need to align ourselves with His Word, and get ourselves into agreement with Him. Then and only then can we receive the breakthroughs we so desperately are praying for and believing for, that we may be blessed as He intended us to be.

He is with you, always!

     He says "do not be dismayed" (downcast or upset), because He is with you. So if you feel alone, or forgotten, when it is as if the entire world is against you, you never have to worry because He is with you. When you feel you are not strong enough to go on, He says that He will give you strength (Isaiah 40:31). 

     We tend to put ourselves down rather than build ourselves up. Perhaps, if we began seeing ourselves how God sees us, if we loved and valued ourselves as much as our Heavenly Father does, we would dramatically change our lives. We can do this by studying His Word, and viewing ourselves through the lens of His love. He wants to bless us, He wants us to enjoy our life, and to be happy with ourselves. He will not reject us, so we shouldn't reject ourselves. 

Want to read the previous posts from this series? 

Here is the list:

1. Introducing the Truth about Beauty
2. The Truth about Beauty; the Media is Damaging Us

The Truth about Beauty; the Media is Damaging Us

    Sooo earlier this week I shared with you my thoughts on the beauty standards of this generation. This is a subject that I find very interesting, and I thought I would share all my feelings here in the following weeks. But today, I have an important assumption to make:  

      Social media, magazines, the list goes on and all of it is damaging us. By us, I mean the young men and women (sadly, mostly women), teenagers, preteens, even Elementary kids! Because young people of the 21st century are bombarded daily by the message that we need to look a certain way if we want to be accepted. 

     Social media is a large platform for self-criticism. We are a generation who spends a lot of time online, and during that time we may find ourselves looking over other people's photos. Suddenly, we may start comparing ourselves to other body types, and we find ourselves wondering if there is something wrong with us because we may not look the way we think we should. It didn't used to be this way, but with the advances in technology we are able to snap pics, slap on a filter, and make adjustments via apps that will trim inches off our waists and thighs without so much as a second thought. this in itself isn't a bad thing, but when thirteen-year-old girls are editing their Instagram photos, what are they believing about their bodies? That they have flaws to be edited away?

     How damaging is that? To be told that "skinny" and "thigh gaps" are fashionable. Society has perfect what the ideal woman/man should look like. When in reality, there is only a tiny percent of people who actually meet the standards which the media determines as "beautiful". furthermore, most models depicted in images or commercials are approximately 20% below the ideal body weight; this meets the diagnostic criteria for anorexia! [here is the source] Yet this is ultimately applying and undue pressure, and us young people tend to hate our bodies if we don't fit the mold. As a result, we punish ourselves for not looking right. We are hurting for not being everyone else's definition of "beauty".

It so easy to look at a model on the cover of GQ or Vanity and think: "I wish I looked like that" after they have gone through so much photo-shopping the images no longer accurately represent the models themselves. Tweens and teens see these images, and they think this is the standard of beauty, comparing themselves to the men and women in ads and articles. They start to worry they won't make the cut, and they carry this into adulthood. 

        How many times have you gone into a dressing room and tried something on only to look in the mirror and think: "this isn't how it looked on the mannequin"? Or when those perfect jeans don't fit and that little voice inside your head starts saying you need to lose weight so you think: "Maybe I should skip dinner"? We need to stop allowing society to set the standard for what beauty should be. It should not matter how thin you are, how big your thigh gap is, what brand of makeup you use or clothing you wear.  

     Not everyone is built the same, or looks the same; we are not all cut from the same fabric. Wider hips? that is okay. Thicker thighs? That is okay, too. What you consider to be your flaw just might be someone else's envy! Don't let the media pressure you into thinking there is only one ideal body type because everyone is different. If you are experiencing these struggles, if this article has struck a chord with you, then I encourage you to get up, go into the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror. Say: “I am beautiful the way I am, no matter what anyone else says.” Tell this to yourself 40, 50, 100 times a day; however many times it takes until you begin believing it. Because it is true! 

           

Did you like this post and want to read the previous posts from this series? 

Here is the list:

1. Introducing; the Truth about Beauty

Introducing; the Truth about Beauty

     What does it mean to be beautiful? Everyone defines "beauty" differently and in their own way. Nevertheless, our society seems to have constructed some basic standards that have become unwritten rules to define being beautiful. But is this mindset about our body image doing us more harm than good? Let me explain:

    The societal beauty standards have evolved from ten, twenty, even thirty years ago. What I'm referring to are the rapid changes in fashion (skinny jeans anyone?), and what is considered as visually appealing (i.e "thigh gaps" and tiny waistlines) or socially acceptable. Yet, the bar seems to constantly be set higher and higher, thus causing adverse effects and undue pressure upon our youth when it comes to our appearance and (ultimately) our acceptance.
  

    Photo-shopped images, fad diets, fashion trends, and the like all contribute to this societal pressure put upon teens to look or be a certain way. Young people are bombarded daily by social media, advertisements, and magazine articles all depicting how they should look, and what they can do to improve their appearance. However, there are psychological effects (and consequences) that go hand-in-hand with these standards, ranging from social anxiety to anorexia; especially for women. Now, body image and acceptance has always been a struggle of mine, as for many I know, and it got me wondering why we (as young people) struggle so much with how we look.

    So, with that being said, over the next few weeks I'm going to explore the subject of beauty standards, what they are doing to our self-worth, and what the Bible says about how we should be perceiving ourselves. How do they differ? How should we really be thinking? And what can we do to make a difference? Hopefully, this self-exploratory venture will shed some light on the concept of body image and, ultimately, beauty itself. In the meantime: